Please and thank you.

I never expected not saying please and thank you would so difficult. Who knows the last time anyone reminded me to say the words of politeness, yet if I don’t it feels like a voice inside gives me a little nudge. It’s fair to say that I like saying please and thank you and moreover, feel a need to say it.

There are wonderful people at work who cook and drive for the staff. In general, I struggle with having people do things for me, even if they are paid to provide that service. So, you may imagine how necessary I feel the need to say thank you after lunch and when I get picked up and dropped off. In Nyanja, thank you roughly translates to zikomo. There is no verb for to thank. Zikomo also functions as excuse me. Similarly, pepani is sorry and apparently can be used for please, though I have never heard it used. Some Zambians will use zikomo, but I am acutely aware that I use it in excess amounts. My colleagues definitely notice because sometimes they beat me to the punch, say it first, and then laugh.

Even if there are no direct translations for please and thank you per se, in observing people interact, I’ve come to a few conclusions. By saying, nakuta (I am full/satisfied) you are in fact showing gratitude to the person you has cooked you the food. And, to show respect to people when leaving, one can say, naenda (I am leaving) and musali bwino (stay well)/muende bwino (go well).

With my limited grasp of Nyanja, it doesn’t feel enough. That is, I want to say the equivalent of, I really, really appreciate it, thank you so much. It’s tough just to take something and walk away without saying something. Without the words of courtesy, actions are straightforward. I am still a little sensitive to the verb to want/give me. They seem too direct and abrupt when I translate it in my head. E.g. ndifuna manzi (I want water). I realise that please and thank you are constructs of Western social conduct. Still, a genuine and appreciative thank you is satisfying to say and hear.