A letter to minibus conductor

Dear minibus conductor at filling station,

Since our path will no doubt cross again, allow me to set a few things straight:

I am walking from the bus stop across the street from the filling station, so it would be fair for you to assume that I have just come from somewhere and will not be getting on your bus heading the opposite direction. I usually shake my head when you shout the name of your bus route at me. Perhaps, the gesture is not obvious to you, but as I approach, a verbal no should make clear that I have absolutely no interest in going your direction.

Making sounds as your attempt to speak Chinese does not earn you any points. Not every Asian looking person you see speaks Chinese and if they did, mocking the language will not motivate anyone to respond or help you learn. Though my grasp of the language is by no means good, if you are truly interested in learning Chinese, I will be more than happy to teach you a few basic phrases. Unfortunately, our interaction does not leave me wanting to do anything for you.

Contrary to the movies, not all Asian people break out in martial arts while walking about. As I try to walk around your minibus, I am not sure why you think I might be interested in a duel. I have just come from work, so I have my bag and sometimes a bag of vegetables. Do you really think I have any interest in setting my bags down and fighting you. For your information, martial arts is a little more than swinging your arms and prancing about.

So the next time we meet, I hope we can have a more pleasant interaction. I do not need to come home feeling that I have just experienced my most racist encounter to date. I know what you look like now, so the next time I am coming from town and your bus is at the corner, I will say hello and a hello back would be a more appropriate way to reciprocate.

Regards,
M

p.s. I also do not respond well to baby, hissing, or proclamations of love.