Does it still count?

I'm not sure if I will keep this blog going because I really don't know what I am rambling about these days. Does cyberspace need my almost disillusioned perspective on development? However, I must say a huge thank you – zikomo kwambiri – to everyone for reading. A special thank you to friends who have considered some of the things I've written about and fired questions back at me. Thanks R for these questions. –m

Even if external aid doesn't really work, does it still count? I would never say that external aid and assistance doesn't help at all. Admittedly, I did have a conversation once about what would happen if all development agencies pulled out and the first answer we came up with is that a lot of people (national and international staff) would be unemployed… oops, we were supposed to say all the people who receive assistance would be affected. There are undeniable positive outcomes like children being able to eat and receive medical attention through programmes happening in schools. Donor money has enabled the building of roads, bridges, schools, hospitals, etc. However, is foreign aid and assistance meant to be indefinite? For example, a feeding programme addresses immediate hunger, but when the programme pulls out, people many not necessarily be in the position to help themselves, if they became accustomed to receiving aid. Another example comes from an article I read recently about how second-hand clothes flowing into developing countries actually hinders the development of local textile industries. But then again, someone who didn't have shoes yesterday could have shoes today. Development project are increasingly concerned with sustainability. Many people tout loan and microfinance projects as the sustainable way, but they do not always work if the community has not committed to the idea. There is no perfect development scheme. It really depends on individual communities and individual circumstances. However, at the end of the day, yes, it does still count that an orphan gets a one good meal through a feeding programme.

What are people's attitudes to foreign assistance? I would say that people working in development here question what they are doing – at least those working at grassroots level. People (i.e. me) come here and realise that there might not really be anything they (I) can do. With that said, I still think it is a process that I can perhaps make small contributions. Maybe my colleagues may end up learning a few things from me (or maybe not). I know I am gaining valuable insight into the realities of a local NGOs. As for what local people think… I'm not sure. I don't really know what to say to people who ask, "so did you come here to save Africa?" I don't expect to be appreciated or for anyone to care that I'm here, but it seems no matter what you do – learn the local language, spent time with people – you'll never really be accepted. I'm not the first person to come and I won't be the last, so in people's minds maybe I've come to help, but in the end I will leave.

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Damn, at the end of each entry I feel like I need to apologise for yet another depressing post. Will try to write take note of more upbeat and fascinating things this weekend. Much laundry and housecleaning to do… the difficulty of going away on weekends… not complaints though, I'm still relishing in the feeling of being on the beach at the Lake Malawi.